trillow: my cat licked my forehead and then tapped it with her paw i think i just got baptised
We had to shave our cat because she had mats in her fur. But then she was cold. So we bought her a sweater. It also came with a little hat. My cat hates me.
meladoodle: meladoodle: when boys smile, i die oh…
fuckyeahlaughters: Expectation: Reality:
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
thehilariousblog: skin doesnt stain why aren’t we making clothes out of human skin
astrokidmusic: astrokidmusic: I should just quit school and become a brostitute you pay me to just hang out and chill does anybody want to join me we can start a brothel
gumiappendsweet: my favorite thing about european history is that henry viii started his own religion just so he could divorce his wife
darrynek: the nominees are leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio and the winner is *opens envelope* adele
thatfunnyblog: i use ♡ instead of ♥ because it’s hollow and empty just like my actual heart Funny Stuff you like?
me: hey i was wondering if you wanna go out sometime
me: wtF omG soRRY that was my CAT running across the keyboarD OMG!!!
gaymance: friends always cheer me up when im upset or feeling down. the tv show not the people
Sext: I kiss you deeply as I lay you back gently on the bed, my hands roaming up your thighs, palms are sweaty, knees weak arms spaghetti
laugh-addict: When you’re typing in your password… but you get it wrong. So you start typing like this…